Captain Me Planet

The privates #1 and 3, the Colonel and I watched the 3rd Star Wars this weekend. Return of the Jedi. Don’t tell me it’s actually the 6th. I’m eternally ill about the first 3 episodes from my childhood being relegated to the last 3, just because George Lucas wanted to run the thing out of sequence. And just who is my son to tell me every time no mo-o-o-m, that’s not the 3rd one…

Anyway, the scene comes up where Leia is in the gold bikini. Chained to Jaba the Hut. We talk a good bit about modesty and appropriate clothing around here, and no belly buttons hang out from under skimpy shirts, so the elder Pvt.’s interest was a bit peaked at the amount of celestial skin being bared by the lovely Leia. Wow. Mom. Um, that’s really not a lot of clothes, is it? Nope, it sure isn’t, but remember, Jaba’s making her wear that, because she’s his captive right now. In her right mind, Leia most assuredly would never don such a get-up. Upon rescue, her pride will be returned to her, and she’ll dress normally again (white toga + braided side head buns = normal?). The Pvt. stood mesmerized a few moments longer before affirming Jaba wanted her to wear that? Yep, he did. And our 10 year old replied, I guess he’s sort of like an outer space Hooters-going kind of dude, huh. Well sir, I guess he is.

(cue Star Wars theme music) Just this morning, in a galaxy, far, far away, a battle raged. For months, a fierce struggle had ravaged Homeonia, and without intervention, no one would live to see the end. The inhabitants of Homemonia were creatures of relationship, and regular eating schedules. However, there were those, maybe only one, who lost the high regard for routine, and non-cyber communications. This is not that story. This is a not a story at all, but a recording of the peace restored to Homeonia, through the unfortunate, but necessary destruction of one Captain’s Blog.

The reclaimed Captain will create, instead, a log. With comments disabled, and no links to be found, Homeonia will go on with comfortable bellies and clean underwear, and nary a meme in sight. The ravages of mold and dust may even be put to an end, as planet restoration commences. All blog-whoring has been legislated as unlawful, punishable to the fullest extent of Planet Law, and usually consisting of the removal of computer privileges. This is a place of recording the lives of the planet dwellers that can give the Captain a hug, and with whom she can read Dr. Suess. In addition, any and all opinions formed, or observations noted, by said Captain will be logged as deemed necessary.

I am the Captain. And my first duty of record is to lay the smackdown on Private One, who for a decade has enjoyed all the free form learning of the Swiss Family Robinson. And starting tomorrow, he will begin *gasp* actual school work, according to an actual lesson plan, that I am going to begin outlining right here.

Monday 1/30/06

Math - next page, front and back
20 minutes of flashcards
Spelling - first 2 pages, front and back of next lesson
History - Americans Into Orbit, first 3 chapters
(Ha ha. I’m going to get him to read those books, afterall, Dad)
Writing - one paragraph on the first 3 chapters of AIO.
Botany - collect 5 different leaves

Tuesday 1/31/06

See how Monday went.

Wednesday 2/1/06

See how Tuesday went.

Thursday 2/2/06

See how Wednesday went.

Friday 2/3/06

See who’s still standing.

And I need to:
-get the laundry done
-vacuum up and down stairs
-plan dinner before 5 pm
-walk wipe down all bath rooms
-read for 30 minutes with Private Two.
-clean out the fridge (gack)
-determine what supplies are needed for Tues. co-op
-and ohmygosh…just looked at my book, have a 1:30 appt. with my gynecologist. I’m going to have to take the kids with me. gah. This makes a Captain unhappy. canceled

edited update: 1/30/06 seem to have a virus today. The Colonel stayed home from work. All systems were adjusted due to the Captain’s crankiness, and very little of the original agenda was accomplished. I did finish Patrica Cornwell’s book,

Trace

. And am feeling pleasantly mellow on Nyquil.