Not so good. In fact, nasty. I caved. I ordered NutriSystem. For a month. The whole 28 day sha-bang, complete with one week FREE, FREE, FREE. That’s right, 7 tantalizing breakfasts, yummy yummy lunches, superb suppers, and delish desserts. FREE. And right now, I’m trying to drown the saccharin aftertaste of the Chewy Cranberry Granola Bar with glass after glass of approved and much encouraged water. At least I’ll pee away some pounds. Ack.
My first attempt at starting the day was quickly aborted, upon discovering the Blueberry Bran Muffin was just inedible. Completely impossible to choke down. The dog slinked away from it. Dry, overly artificially sweetened. Not one blueberry. However, there was the overwhelming flavor of fake sweetened some-berry. Indistinguishible, but definitely berry. Now, I’m supposed to have a fruit, a dairy, and something called a low GI carb. I don’t know what a low GI carb is. Maybe I’m going to have to read the instruction manual. But if I had time for that, I’d have time just make all my own low calorie, nutrition packed meals. Anyway, after that granola bar, I’m so over the desire to eat, I’m not sure I can muster up enough saliva to get anything else down. Maybe that’s how you lose weight on this program. The pre-packaged, pre-portioned, vacuum packed foods destroy the appetite, one meal at a time. After another week and a half, I’ll be down to Diet Coke. And thinner. I’m just praying there’s some other stuff in that box more appetizing. Because for the money, I’m going to eat it if it kills me.
It’s just 13 pounds. 13 lbs. Thirteen pounds. Not a huge hurdle, one would think. But. I. just. can’t. lose. it. It’s not rocket science. Or an underlying health issue. I just keep eating what I want, when I want, and primarily avoiding anything involving much movement of major muscle groups. And, much to my surprise, I’m over 30. So, in the vein of always saying if someone would just hand me the OK meals to eat, I could do it, I ordered NutriNasty System. I’m determined to get this done. Nourish your body, nourish your life, and all that. And then I ate a muffin. Are they all just lying on those commercials? Shut. up. Nooo.
OK. Day 1, meal 1. Done. Water intake at 09:34, 7 glasses. Now I’m supposed to record it in my little checkbook sized meal planner, and do some sort of exercise. How many calories does watching Regis and Kelly burn?
