I’m beyond creeped out
at the fact that a family, that we’ve had to break up with (can’t find the post to which to refer, but I covered this at some point), continues to call. A couple of times a week or so. Which we NEVAH answer. We’ve said we can’t see them anymore (for reasons I won’t belabor here). We’ve said our children can’t play anymore (ditto). And just now, twice in a row, they called. And on the second time, had their son leave a sad, mope-y message. Imagine down, 11 year old voice…Hi (insert our last name and make it plural). Just calling to tell you we miss you. Hope we can see you soon. God loves you. Um, we hope we can see you soon. Bye (with even more mope-y tone). Whaaaaaa??? What about we can’t see you anymore do they not understand? Do I have to change our names and go into an ex-church member protection program?
At Valentine’s, with 4 minutes warning, via our answering machine, they showed up at our door, children bearing cards. What mother would put her children through this? I had to say thank you, and close the door on their expectant faces. Just trust me, this is not a healthy family in any stretch of the imagination. This break up was necessary.
So now, every few days or weeks, the phone ominously rings again…and that number appears on our ID (thank you God for caller ID). And I get a knot in my stomach for having to not answer. And I am concerned for our children if they see the number and know we won’t answer. Or if they hear the kind of message we had today, from a friend they once had and still love. They can only understand so much, obviously.
Do I get confrontational? Rude? Swear out a warrant for some reason I can’t think of right now? What? This Mom is perpetuating the falsehood to her own children that if they just keep calling, and showing “God’s love”, that we’ll come around at some point? We left that relationship because we are the healthy ones (all relative, of course). We’re not “out of fellowship with the Lord”, or “lost”, or confused, or anything of the sort. We make a tremendously difficult decision to sever a relationship due to personal and significant reasons, and it ain’t cause we don’t know God. It was God that led us to this really painful decision.
Seriously, I don’t know what to do. They are apparently NOT getting the point. What now?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, good job sticking to your guns! I think at some point I would waver and try to see if it would work with better boundaries, or some such fiction I’d tell myself. I am so not good with confrontation. I hope they get the clue soon! (now, I’m curious about your previous post re them!)
Comment by Gem — April 13, 2006 @ 4:08 am
I bet you they will get the message if you keep doing what you’re doing a while longer. Don’t take their critizism personally, they will be hurt and probably fire some crap your way just as a knee-jerk reaction. But if this is a really bad BAD relationship you are so right to end it for your family. Life’s just too short. So I would just keep refusing, politely mind you, but firmly. Sounds like they are just the type who have to hear something 80,000 times before it sinks in, unfortunately for you folks. Hang in there and keep sticking to what you feel is best!
ps I did get your sock proposition, did you get my pattern, and try it out? Do tell me what happened! Talk soon.
Comment by Krista — April 13, 2006 @ 8:22 pm